Nights i lay crumbled in my bed
Trembling with dejection and fear
Sheets covered wholly by the tears i shed
Haunted by the ache and angst like a nightmare
Frowning with an unendurable agony
I pass the crowd with great stealth
Dragging my feet with melancholy
Would this rather jeopardize my health?
Tormented by my dire and distressing predicament
Faintly i contemplate as my enitre body deteriorates
Even though i show no signs of peculiar abasement
Reluctantly i succumb to an overdose of barbiturates
Imperceptibly and solitary i frequently whimper
And with my so-called friends i often clown
Hitherto all my social activities my state did hinder
But owing to my pride, i never let them see me frown
Frowning is a sign of weakness and despair
Coz i do see light at the end of the tunnel
A distant beam of luminosity, sunlight's glare
An intense glow flowing through the aired panel
My life is filled with misery and woe
Yet at it with amazement i stare and stare
Sometimes i can't endure it anymore
But who seems to care?
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5 comments:
Nice poem and I hope not reflective of what you are going through. I usually have a mask when hanging out with friends. Rarely telling or showing my distress as it may be at the time. Till recently I used to think anger/sadness/tears.......were all signs of weakness. Never used to cry till I was alone in my bedroom or while taking a shower with the water drowning out my sobs. It takes strength to show your weakness and we at times forget that.
Ps:- barbs are never a way out. embrace your insomnia. :)
Sleepdepraved, People let burden off their chest in many different ways and Like you said wear masks in society so as not to reveal the inadequacy and distress thats churning in their insides. Some cry themselves to sleep, some keep themselves entertained with all sorts of things so as not to aggravate those sentiments that caused the anxiety, some can't cope and are weighed down by the worry, and some simply put pen to paper!
It feels so good when you jot down your feelings, much better than confiding in a friend - who might console you at the moment and give you a shoulder to cry on, but still that feeling lingers there somehow!
God!It does take strength to show weakness...Seems like we share something in common then! ;)
Oh i forgot to add, The poem is not a reflectiion of what i am currently going through - though it might have been in the past!
Gosh I need FOC to decipher if you were taking the mickey out of me or actually being genuine. Darn brit humour :P
Hahaha! Oh You will get used to it SD - very soon indeed!
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