Wednesday, September 20, 2006


On Saturday, the 16th, my most treasured friend has uttered the words “Qabbaltu Nikaaxan…” after the Sheikh and departed from the “impoverished existence” of our likes. A companion for so long through life’s turbulent waves and solitary subsistence, he now is in the preliminary stages of the ever-gratifying epoch of wedlock. May Allah safeguard them from the teething troubles of marriage and bestow them with righteous offsprings! Ameen!

And indeed marriage is a wonderful thing and sustaining a pleasurable, long-term marriage takes effort - the simple unification of two souls is elevated to pinnacles of delight and happiness and is then gently wrapped in a lofty status. But instead of rallying towards these exalted moments of commitment and matrimony, people usually squander splendid opportunities when they become apparent before them. They do so in the false pretence that perhaps someone ‘better’ lies around somewhere.

“I’m just waiting for the right one” declares a female acquaintance of mine as soon as the subject pops up. Not surprising though, since the majority of women’s remarks are probably no different to that of my acquaintance’ on the question of marriage – without realising that the so-called ‘right’ one is nothing but a figment of one’s imagination!

Marriage has certainly been on my mind for a while, and now at 23 it has assuredly secured its precedence over many a thing. Though my earnest wishes are to return to the picturesque terrains of Sanaag and bask my sore eyes in the expanse of its scenery – and perhaps visit past scenes of delight, I need to work on investing something I can take along with me. ‘We live in a time laden with conventions, prejudices and mistakes of all sorts’ as Rilke once said, so it has to be but a stroke of fortune finding a woman worth marrying!


Firefly said...


There is nothing wrong with waiting for the right partner. However wonderful marriage is, you can be assured it will be a nightmare if you are married to someone who is wrong for you.

After all, your marriage partner is written for you, so why not wait for them? What's the rush? If it's the so-called 'biological clock', it so happens that what kids, if any, you have are also written for you.

In your case, there are many women worth marrying, but they are not all for you. Your one will come along in her own good time, I'A.


SleepDepraved said...

^^ Its not the first time I hear that. My question still remains whenever I hear that: how do you know if Ms or Mr right is the one? Allah knows what awaits you but will I be blasphameous in saying you don't. To you its a choice, A or B. Isn't that what sets us apart from animals? Our free will.

I think its wonderful that you would put marriage as a priority. I don't think its a stroke of fortune more like where you tend to look and what you are looking for. If you read your islamic text the latter is clearly outlined which will in turn lead you to the former. Good luck in your journey shafi and may it result in a happy life of fulfillment and riches (the soul off course).

Shafi Said said...


Firefly, Knowing whether a person is right or wrong for wouldn't be a result of mere perception, but one of having lived with the person to find out what they are "really" like. You can't really know a person untill you shared a room!

As for the wait, Insha-Allah that i will do patiently!

SD Its amazing how many times i've heard that phrase, and everytime i say the same thing - that Mr/Mrs right isn't someone out there made specifically for you, but what you make out of the person you have! Well thats my belief atleast. Besides Qofna calafkiisa seegi maayo!

Ameen to the du'a, SD ;)

SleepDepraved said...

Erm you mean u mold the person? grandma once told me that you can't change a person unless the change comes from within. I hope whoever you are thinking of molding has the desire to be mallable under your fingertips ;)

Pd:- Don't get me wrong I ain't under the delusion there is a Mr. Right........I am under the delusion there is a Mr. ALLRIGHT.

Salma Hussein said...

I agree with all of you in some sense. The beauty is that we may meet someone by chance, but loving and staying with that someone is a choice.

Although you may not fully know someone until you've either traveled or lived with them, you can sure look at a persons actions to determine the type of person they will be.

Also friends and asking those close to them about the individual isn't a bad idea either, that's where the beauty of being Somaali comes in. Everybody knows everybody:)